Gone but Never Forgotten
We lost our son Stephen on March 26th 2006. We just celebrated what would be his 32nd birthday. We are still in shock over losing him. You see, Stephen had problems with drugs. He lost his battle with drug addiction, and we, his family lost a piece of our hearts. The pain never leaves us, especially on his birthday and death day. Stephen truly believed that “it would never happen to him”, that he could beat his addiction. He lost.....we lost.
Stephen started smoking pot with friends, then started “ experimenting” with other drugs. We tried getting him into addiction centers, but, he was so smart with knowing how to get them to think he didn’t have a problem. He was the sweetest, kindest, loving young man. He gave amazing hugs. He always was wanting his back scratched. What I would give to just hug him again.
The loss is indescribable, the worst hurt. It’s like not being able to breath at times. It caused me to be very fearful of losing another one of my kids. My anxiety is out of control at times. It’s scary. I share Stephens story a lot with seniors in high school. I am truthful with them and let them know that it CAN happen to them. It CAN tear families apart. It can make Parents live in fear when the phone rings at 2 am.
Stephen made his senior retreat at his high school 3 weeks before he died. For me to know that he forgave himself, that he felt loved, that he reconnected with God brings me peace. I think of him every day. I went to the cemetery every day for the first few years. I decorate for the holidays out at his resting place, and I continue to say....”I should have, I could have, I would have”.... This pain is the worst It’s a club NOONE wants to be in.
I have been blessed with so many “ Angels On Earth” that have walked with me, carried me at times, and always remember Stephen with love. We have been blessed with 4 beautiful grandchildren in the past 12 years. They know everything about their Uncle Stephen. I see Stephen in them at times. The things they do or say. It’s such a blessing from above. I know he watches over us. I know he protects us from above.
But......what I would give Until we meet again my beautiful boy